Fiction by Lorraine
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Disclaimers: The Buffyverse and all its characters belong to Joss Whedon & co. The story is mine.
Summary: Set immediately after the Ats ep "Damage." Xander finds out Spike is alive and comes to L. A. to see for himself.
Beta: kitty_poker1 Thanks so much for all the help!!!!!
Spike opened the door to his bedroom and led Xander inside. Xander looked around curiously as Spike shut the door behind them. The focal point of the room was a massive bed with a black, wrought iron frame. The bed was unmade, and slate grey silk sheets twined sinuously around a black coverlet with scarlet piping.
How very gothic of you, Spike. Sheesh. You almost need a stepstool to climb up into that thing.
The door clicked shut softly, and Spike turned Xander around to face him. He slipped his fingers under Xander’s eye patch and gently lifted it from his head. Then he cupped Xander’s jaw in his hand and leaned closer until his lips brushed across Xander’s. Spike’s lips were firm and tasted faintly of smoke and bitter hops.
When Spike licked the corner of his mouth, Xander shivered and wrapped his arms around him. Spike tangled his fingers in the hair at the nape of Xander’s neck and pressed their bodies tightly together. Spike didn’t curve into him the way Anya or Cordelia had. Instead of softness that yielded, Spike was hardness and muscle, a dense weight fixed against his own.
Xander tentatively reached under Spike’s shirt, his hands skimming across the cool span of Spike’s back. Spike pulled away from Xander momentarily; Xander took advantage and lifted Spike’s shirt over his head. Xander had seen Spike’s naked torso more times than he could count, but he’d never touched that taut belly with the flat of his hands or traced the line of a clavicle with his tongue before now. Spike drew in a breath when Xander licked his nipple. The pale disc hardened in Xander’s warm mouth, and Spike’s hand fisted tighter in Xander’s hair.
What had begun as a series of gentle kisses was rapidly gaining in passion and intensity. Spike backed them up until the tops of Xander’s thighs hit the edge of the bed. Xander felt a moment of slight panic.
I know this was my idea, but maybe we’re moving too fast.
But then Spike was trying to push him down on the bed, and nothing was happening because the bed was too high, the angle all wrong. “Bloody hell,” Spike muttered, and then he laughed, and Xander laughed, too. It took some maneuvering, but they finally got up into the bed, giggling, and everything was alright again.
For what seemed to Xander like hours, they lay in the tangle of Spike’s sheets, pressing kisses into each other’s heated flesh. Spike’s mouth followed the musculature of Xander’s body, tongue caressing the curve of a pectoral and winding its way down to tease Xander’s belly button. Xander moaned softly, his eye closed. When he opened it, Spike was looking at him, his hands resting lightly on Xander’s fly button.
~ ~ ~
Xander leaned back against Harmony’s desk and watched the elevator doors open and close. Spike was doing . . . something . . . and Xander had gotten bored waiting for him in an empty office. He thought about the previous night and grinned.
I made out with Spike. As in, rolled all around the bed like a couple of teenagers and ended up with his hands stuck down my pants. And then my hands were down his pants. Ahh, the goodness of hands down the pants. William the Bloody gets off on old-fashioned making out. Who knew?
For once, Harmony wasn’t her usual talkative self. She greeted Xander with the requisite subtle-as-a-ton-of-bricks flirtation, but midway into the spiel her voice trailed off. Now she sat at her desk, glancing up at Xander furtively and sniffing as if she had a cold.
Finally, after a particularly lengthy intake of air, Xander turned to Harmony and asked, “Harm, are you smelling me?”
“No. Well, yes. But only a little. It’s just . . . you smell all like Spike. I mean, you
smell like him, and I don’t get it. Did you guys watch porn together or something gross like that?”
Xander laughed. “Yeah. Something gross like that.”
Harmony cocked her head to the side and looked at him for a long moment, before her eyes widened comically. “Oh. Oh!” She stood up, flustered, and came around to the front of her desk. “Just let me warn you, Xander. Spike may have a pretty face, and a great body, and be really good in bed, but he will break your heart. Spike is not a giver; he’s a taker. And he will take and take and take until you’re sitting all alone in your bed eating Hagendaaz and feeling disgusted with yourself for dressing up like the Slayer ‘cause you said you’d never do that ever again. Not even if he does that bitey thing you like so much.”
“Umm . . . thanks, Harmony. I’ll keep that in mind.” Xander stifled a laugh; he could tell that Harmony still had feelings for Spike, even if she’d transformed most of them into indignation at the way he’d treated her. Harmony grated on Xander’s nerves, but he didn’t want to hurt her. After all, she was a piece of Sunnydale, something of Cordy walking around still, something familiar, something like home.
Just then, the elevator doors opened, and a young man and what looked to be his parents stepped out of the car into the lobby. Xander hadn’t seen Angel all day, but before the elevator doors even had time to close, he was welcoming the new arrivals to Wolfram and Hart and ushering them into his office.
That was . . . odd. Angel looks like he’s seen a ghost.
~ ~ ~
Xander knocked tentatively on Angel’s door. Spike hadn’t shown up yet, and he could only take so much of Harmony’s relationship management tips before he did something drastic. Angel’s guests had left Wolfram and Hart a half hour ago, so Xander knew he was alone.
At Angel’s, “Come in,” Xander opened the door and stepped inside. Angel looked up at him sharply, nostrils flaring. He didn’t say anything, though; he just shook his head and smiled at Xander.
God, this whole vampire smelling thing is really weirding me out. Deadboy’s gonna know every time Spike and I do anything, and that’s just freaky. Well, at least he’s not offering me sex tips based on his star-crossed love affair with Spike. I’ve really gotta see about setting Harmony up with some nice, upwardly mobile vampire.
“Angel, are you alright? You seemed, I don’t know, bothered by those people that came to see you earlier. They didn’t look like the normal Wolfram and Hart clientele. What gives?”
Angel slouched back in the chair, letting his muscles go slack, trading in what Xander could now identify as his I’m-the-boss-everything’s-fine-don’t-worry-about-me-I-have-no-feelings face for an expression of regret. “That was my son. Connor.”
“What was he doing here? I thought he doesn’t know who you are.” Xander wished he had looked more closely at the young man as he walked through the lobby. He would’ve liked to see a glimpse of Angel in Connor, maybe in something around the eyes or in the way he held his hands.
“We monitor him closely. He had occasion to use his super-strength earlier this week. His abilities are disturbing to his family. They’re worried about him, about what he can do, what he might be. I had someone intervene and direct them to Wolfram and Hart for guidance.”
“What did you tell him?”
Angel sighed. “Some ESP paranormal psychobabble bullshit. One in every two hundred Americans has some kind of special gift, blah blah blah. Use it wisely. I don’t think he bought it, but the parents did.”
“That’s good, right? I mean, your secret’s safe, and everything’s cool.” Xander watched Angel stack a small pile of paperclips, then scatter them with a sweep of his hand. He felt like he should touch him, hug him maybe, but Xander had never really been a hugger, except with Willow, and he wasn’t certain that Angel would welcome the gesture.
Before he had time to further contemplate the issue, the door opened and Spike walked in. He smiled when he saw that Xander was with Angel. He sat next to Xander in one of Angel’s conference chairs, laying a proprietary hand on Xander’s thigh. Xander flashed to waking that morning with Spike curled around his back, his hand in much the same position. He’d thought it might be awkward, waking up in the same bed as Spike, both of them wearing nothing but their underwear. But it wasn’t. Spike had just kissed him on the shoulder and said, “Morning, luv.” Then they’d gone to the kitchen for breakfast, and Xander had eaten a bowl of Weetabix. One look at his face and Spike had laughed. “Guess we better stock up on some real food, huh?”
I was thinking that’s when I knew this is real, that it means something to Spike. Nothing says relationship like a trip to Wal-mart. But that’s not true. I knew it last night when he didn’t push me too hard or too far, and I knew it when he said my name before we fell asleep. Not Harris. Not mate. But Xander. Oh, yeah. Been hearing that all morning.
Xander came back to attention when he realized that both Spike and Angel were watching him daydream. “Where have you been all day?” he asked Spike, in a bid to distract them from his wool-gathering.
“Talking to Dru. We have a little schedule worked out—every two weeks like clockwork, we talk online. She goes to one of those CyberCafe places and IM’s me. Took bloody forever to get her to sign off this time. She knows something’s coming. I had to listen to two hours of Miss Edith’s pronouncements on the impending apocalypse.” Spike took in Angel’s expression and said, “What’s wrong, Angel? You look like hell.”
“Connor was here,” Angel answered. “He was happier than I’ve ever seen him. He’s gotten scholarships to several Ivy League schools, and he’s dating some girl. Nice, smart, pretty.”
“So then, what’s the problem, mate?”
“When he said Dad, he didn’t mean me.”
“Oh.” Spike looked as if he would’ve liked to say more but wasn’t quite sure what was appropriate.
“Yeah. Oh.” Angel picked up one of the paperclips and began unbending it. “Listen, Xander. I wanted to tell you. Star Trek allusion aside, you were right the other day. I’m breaking the memory spell. I can’t do this alone anymore. Even if they all leave, they have to know the truth.”
“What about Connor?” Xander asked.
“I’m leaving the spell intact for him. It may be wrong. It may be mindfucking him,” he glanced at Xander when he said that word, “but he’s my kid.
My kid, even if he doesn’t know it. He’s happy and safe, and I’m not screwing that up.” Angel crossed his arms and glared at Spike and Xander as if he expected them to disagree with him.
“When are you doing it?” Spike asked softly.
“Pretty much now. We’ve got a departmental chair meeting in twenty minutes.”
Xander stared to rise. “We should go then.”
But Angel waved him back down into his seat. “No, stay. Both of you. You’re family. And if they all leave, you’re the only family I’ve got left.”
~ ~ ~
“Well, that was . . . intense.” Xander helped himself to a glass of Angel’s single malt whiskey. “I thought they’d all be pissed about the spell. I guess Angel did, too. But turns out they understand why he did it. It’s all the stuff the spell was hiding that’s doing the damage.”
Spike held out his glass for another drink. “I think they’ll be alright, though. Fred and Percy left together, and the rest of the lot are still in there hashing things out. Nobody threatened to pack their bags or take a swan dive off the roof.”
Harmony opened Angel’s door and poked her head in. “Guys, I’m under strict orders not to interrupt Angel, but something kinda big’s come up. Our branch in Italy is having some problems, and they need Angel to send a team to deal with it.”
Xander raised his glass. “Fieldtrip! I can see Andrew!”
Spike clinked his glass with Xander’s and said excitedly, “And Niblet!”
And Buffy, Xander thought, but the name lay unspoken between them.